The web is so great.

Gives you a lot of things.

You get to learn a lot, read a lot of cool things and so, you share these things, it's super cool.

Also, you meet people, you do things, you share, you get updooted, it's amazing…

When it works #

The moment is just right, you do your stuff, meet people and bam, the soup is made, the beer is brewed and you have your collective, your friend, your partenaires de crime… isn't that right?

Gang signs and all that shit!

When it does not work #

You post, your try to make that connection "you like this thing? have you heard me ?" and nobody fucking reply.

Internet has become that for me, nobody associates witha lil fuckers like me. I don't exist and yet, here I am, for this long.

This is not opened to me, this is not my playground, this is not my world despite two decades plus some years of kaneel on the web.

It's not about what you do #

It's not about what you do. It's never about what we are. And it's probably not about the quality of the output. (I tell myself that to be able to sleep at night)

Because I thought "the more I get good, the more I get really good at my shit, the worthier I'll be" oh boy fucking boy, how wrong younger you was.

I don't know what it's about, but it's probably more about a people capturing all the attention with some drama, hot pics on onlyfans and content farming.

Or it's about being in the network of people who do the thing and are willing to share your stuff if they have the impression it will trinkle back to them.

They (the old people) often said it was about who you know and who you don't know.

There must be a checklist that's not given to me, someone social account to lick a good dose in order to get a bit of a push, a piggy back. I ain't finding these people… and if I found them, would I stoop so low? I'm small but there's a limit.

It's also quite my fault #

Let's face it, a lot of my friends will tell me again and again that I have a problem with licking arses, faking my interests and doing everything I should be doing in order to get a bit of attention: paying farms, paying blogs (yes, check it, some music review websites go through a platform you pay so they discover it) and emailing the entire world wide web in hope to get an answer.

While sometimes, you just need "one push".

I remember the push… I've lived one for "Your average best friend" came from a dear old friend at that time who just dropped my name to whoever interviewed him and that's the sort of things that can change a lot.

That's why I'm done with social networks, I'm frustrated and pissed, the game is "don't retweet", people come to say and tell you they loved the album but, where's the boost and rt? nowhere to be seen… coz it's not for me.

Not for me #

It just is… not for me. Connections aren't for me.

I don't like communities, going out to meet people – it's a fucking rerun, I've done that so many times and I'm exhausted – and telling them "oh you know I'm also making beats?" and see them being absolutely disinsterested.

Fuck it, I'd rather be home, listening to music, and making some beats, playing videogames, be with my people… I'm a lame family guy who make music.

And honestly, a part of communities are a bit like "that street" where you live and you have to be nice and play nice with others, with few power couples who actually are feeding on the community and are assholes, you know which couples I refer too, the one with the "special kids", that bitch being your back and make sure nobody talk to you if you don't play with them the correct way.

Side note: Everything online is a reproduction of the real, only a bit more unhinged.

I guess I've been blessed and because I'm a "normie" (kids love to throw shades at people not in their scene, right?) I don't deserve the push and share because I'm already past teenagehood, I don't need a tribe (never did) and all the uncomfortable things with my body are past me. I'm just a lucky arsehole except oops, 45 years old this year, better pay attention to my mental health!

NEW FUCKING ALBUM OR WHAT? #

Yep.

I'm getting there! I just need a good coverart (no fucking shit this was not it I think! ahah) and finish the mastering, it's bit of a back and forth with the tracks too but yeah yeah it's coming. 46 minutes of new kaneel, 46 minutes of downtempo, electronics, big loud beats and many other tidbits, all written in Renoise, too!

See? you're doing it again! #

I'll never stop doing it, being angry, releasing music, being angry again. The ritual has been perfected.

And people will miss all of it.

Aaaaah, the people.